


You Put the 'Desi' in Desirable

by myrtos



Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-15 07:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13026669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myrtos/pseuds/myrtos
Summary: One Direction visit India for their 2017 World Tour.To anyone out there reading this: I wrote this as a joke for my friend's birthday, it's not meant to be an actual fic for you to read and enjoy. Kindly move on with your search or read this if you're so curious to see what it's about, I don't care.





	You Put the 'Desi' in Desirable

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Kannav.
> 
> You are probably (hopefully) reading this on the day of your birthday so, first of all, happy birthday! I know I promised I was going to let you read my fanfiction as a birthday present, but I thought it would be more fun if while looking through my other, more boring works, you came across this one. 
> 
> I got the idea for this at the airport when I heard one of the TSA guards asking his co-worker: "I wonder how they do this in India when there's so many people". Yes, I swear that actually did happen. I apologise in advance for the stereotypes in this story, but I am sure you will appreciate it for what it is. Also, I must tell you that for the sake of the story, Zayn never left the band, they never split up, and Louis and Liam never had children.
> 
> Anyways, I am going to let you proceed to the actual story now. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the read.
> 
> Yours truly,  
> Myrto :)

_"We have just been cleared to land to Indira Gandhi International Airport."_

"Finally." Zayn groaned, stretching his arms over his head. Flying to India from Los Angeles, where their last concert of the North American leg of the tour had been, was quite a long trip, as it turned out, even when you had your own private plane. One Direction had never been to India before and their fans would surely be waiting at the airport to greet them like it usually happened whenever they flew somewhere. It was truly remarkable how dedicated their fans were, but all the screaming and chanting wasn't something any of the boys were looking forward to after a 16 hour flight. 

"Somebody should wake Harry before we land." Zayn muttered, glancing at the curly haired boy who was sleeping on the seat next to Louis, his head tilted to the side and his lips slightly parted as he snored softly. Harry was the only one who ever managed to fall asleep on the plane and he always snored; it was annoying at first but everyone had gotten used to it by now to the point where it had become a normal background noise during plane rides. 

Louis sighed and turned to look at Harry. He knew he would have to be the one to wake him up no matter how much he didn't want to disturb the younger boy's slumber. Harry looked so peaceful when he slept, despite the snoring, and that made Louis' task rather difficult. He placed his hand on Harry's shoulder and shook him gently.

"Hey, Haz. We're almost there. Wake up."

Harry grumbled and opened his eyes, blinking as he looked up at Louis. "Huh?" He yawned, turning his head to look outside the window. He could see the city underneath them, the buildings and the cars tiny like children's toys. "Is this India?"

"Well, yeah. Or at least part of it." Louis hummed. "We should be landing in a bit."

"Good." Harry murmured, nuzzling his face into the crook of Louis' neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek. He was really affectionate when he woke up, almost like a cuddly kitten. Louis did not mind one bit, though.

"Oi, lads! I think I see the Taj Mahal!" Niall exclaimed, his face nearly glued to the window.

"We're in Delhi, Niall. I don't think that is the Taj Mahal." Zayn rolled his eyes. He was really tired and the last thing he needed was Niall being loud and annoying. He couldn't understand how that boy could always be energetic. 

"Oh..." The disappointment in Niall's voice was evident. "I hope we'll get to see the Taj Mahal, though. It would be awesome."

"We will if we have enough time. Now sit back because the plane is about to land." Liam scolded.

"Okay, dad."

 ~*~

"I wonder how many people are waiting for us. Paul said they'd try to get us out the back, but apparently there's only one exit we can use." Liam said. They had gotten off the plane and were now making their way to the exit, five bodyguards surrounding them as they walked and two more walking a few steps ahead as a measure of extra caution. They didn't usually have such tight security, Paul, their head of security, and two other bodyguards would usually do the trick, but they were in India, a new country for them, and Management felt like they needed to be extra careful for some reason.

"Man, I'm so hungry. I could really go for some authentic chicken tikka masala right now." Niall complained, rubbing his stomach for more dramatic effect.

"I was told the hotel you will be staying at has excellent Indian cuisine." It was Paul who spoke. He always knew how to make Niall happy.

As they walked through the airport, people started noticing that someone important had arrived due to all of the bodyguards and although they didn't dare to approach the band, they would take out their phones and snap pictures of them, probably uploading them on Twitter and every other social media they had.

They hadn't been walking for more than five minutes when they heard it; the familiar noise that made the bodyguards' face turn serious and Harry walk farther away from Louis. 

_"One Direction, One Direction, One Direction!"_

It was their fans, chanting their name as loud as they could. They had probably been notified of their arrival through social media and, judging by the loudness of it all, there were a lot of them waiting to welcome the boys.

"Alright, boys, you know the drill. We can't stop for autographs, so just keep your head down and walk."

The chanting turned into screaming as soon as they appeared in front of the fans, probably a hundred Indian girls and a few guys, who desperately tried to get the attention of their idols by reaching out to touch them and flailing their arms like mad, only to be pushed back by the bodyguards. It was crazy trying to get through them safely - somebody groped Louis from behind and dozens of things were thrown at them to sign, but they were eventually able to make it safely to the exit where their cars were waiting for them. Harry and Louis always shared a car by themselves, the tinted windows gave them the perfect chance to cuddle, and the other three had gotten tired of their continuous lovey-doveyness so didn’t mind riding without them. 

"I'm so hungry, I think I'm going to die." Niall complained again once they were in the car, leaning back against his seat and pouting. 

"You're not going to die. We're gonna be there soon." Zayn sighed, rolling his eyes and looking out the window in an attempt to avoid further interaction with Niall or Liam. 

They were silent for a few moments until someone spoke up. It was a voice they didn't recognise, with an accent that was not British, but definitely Indian. "I'm sorry to break it to you, guys, but I think it will be a while until we get to your hotel. The traffic is horrible at this hour and there’s no other road we can take."

"Great." Niall huffed. "Now I'm definitely going to die."

"Niall, shu—" Zayn was cut off by Liam pressing a finger to his lips to silence him before he could say anything that would make the rest of their, apparently long, car ride unbearable for all of them. They were all tired, but there was no reason for bickering over silly things.

"Don’t worry, I'll do my best to keep you alive." It was the voice with the Indian accent that spoke again - their driver, they realised, as the tinted window that separated them from the front of the car started going up. The person at the driver's seat couldn't be much younger than them and he looked at them through the rearview mirror once the window had fully gone up, giving them a big smile before speaking again.

"I hope you don't mind I pulled up the window. It feels weird talking to someone without looking at them." He said. "My name's Kannav. I'm going to be your driver for as long as you stay in India."

"Your name is Gandalf? Wow, that's so cool. I didn't know it was an Indian name." Niall said, having already forgotten about his hunger; their driver was more interesting.

Liam and Zayn glanced at each other, not sure how to handle the situation. They weren't supposed to interact with their drivers, but this guy seemed like a genuinely nice person and it would be cool to talk to him since he looked to be around their age as well. 

Kannav appeared to be confused by Niall’s words, but he then laughed and shook his head. "It's Kannav. Not Gandalf."

"Cannal?" Niall furrowed his eyebrows and Zayn rolled his eyes, smacking his friend at the back of the head.

"He said Kannav, you idiot. Ka-n-na-v." 

"Ow." Niall frowned, rubbing the back of his head. "You didn't have to hit me."

Liam rolled his eyes at them. He couldn't believe how childish both Zayn and Niall could sometimes be. "It's nice to meet you, Kannav." He cleared his throat, shooting the other two a look that told them to behave themselves. They couldn't embarrass themselves in front of their new friend. 

"It's nice to meet you too." Kannav responded with a grin. "You're, uh, Louis?"

Liam was slightly thankful that the guy wasn't a fan of theirs; no real fan would have mistaken him with Louis. "I'm Liam. And this is Niall and Zayn." He said, gesturing to the other two. "Louis is in the other car with Harry, maybe you'll get to meet them later."

"Ah, cool. Sorry for mistaking you with Louis, Liam."

"It's okay. I'm sorry Niall called you Gandalf."

~*~

Kannav could have never in his life imagined that one day he would be the driver of One Direction - or at least 3/5 of One Direction - in his own country. When he was told about it by his boss, he had to try really hard to keep himself from doing a little excited dance and keep a serious face. One Direction was his favourite band in the whole wide world and he would get to meet them for real. Nobody knew about his One Direction obsession, not even his friends; he kept it well-hidden underneath his rocker facade, but the truth was that he knew every single one of One Direction's songs by heart and had been a fan of theirs since the very beginning. 

His boss told him that he was strictly prohibited from talking to whoever was in the car and opening the dividing window so they could see him and they could see them - it could get him fired. But he didn't care about his job as much as he did about One Direction, so he carefully devised a plan that would help him befriend his idols. He couldn't let Liam, Niall and Zayn figure out that he was actually a fan or they would think he was weird and probably never talk to him ever again.

Luckily, his plan was going incredibly well. They all chatted for the whole duration of the car ride; Kannav couldn't believe he and his idols were just talking like normal people. He promised Niall he would show him the best places to eat around the city and he bonded with Zayn over the upcoming Marvel movie, while also answering Liam's questions about India and what it was like living there. 

"Oh, Liam, before you go." They had finally reached the hotel and the three One Direction members were about to exit the car. "Here is my card in case you need a car ride outside of scheduled hours." Kannav smiled, handing Liam his card. He hoped he was coming off just as a really helpful foreigner and not a creepy stalker/fan (which he definitely wasn't).

"Thanks, Kannav. We'll give you a call if we need you." Liam didn't seem to think the gesture was odd, much to Kannav's relief. Maybe the fact that he was speaking with an extra thick Indian accent was actually paying off. His next scheduled ride with One Direction wasn't until the next day in the evening, but he hoped he would get to see them earlier than that.

~*~

Kannav did not receive a call from Liam. He was disappointed, of course, but he did not let that ruin his mood. He was going to see them in the evening either way. And besides, maybe they wanted to rest after their trip, they must have been really tired. When he went to pick them up the next day, he didn't even bother with the dividing window; it's job was to separate him from his idols who he was slowly befriending and he didn't need that. He thought he was going to have Liam, Niall and Zayn in his car again, but much to his surprise, it was Harry and Louis who got into the car a couple of minutes after he had parked in front of the hotel. 

"You must be Kannav. The lads told us all about you." Louis chirped and Kannav swore his heart skipped a beat. He couldn't believe they had been talking about him. He must have left quite an impression on the other three for Harry and Louis to want to met him.

"That is right." He smiled, keeping himself calm although he was fanboying on the inside. "It's good to meet you, Louis and Harry?"

"That's us." Harry hummed in response and Kannav noticed that he was sitting closer to Louis than necessary, which made him wonder whether all the conspiracies about them actually being together were true.

The two turned out to be just as nice as their other three band mates. Kannav was happy to chat with Harry about Indian culture and he even taught him a few words in Hindi that even Louis picked up. Their ride was unfortunately shorter than the one from the airport, however. He was only taking them to a club where, according to Louis, they would be celebrating the fact that their newest single had become number one in India. The party was hosted by India's most popular radio station and a lot of popular people were going to be there, including Shah Rukh Khan. Louis was surprised to find out that Kannav actually hated the actor since it seemed like everyone in India adored him. 

"Hey, Kannav, why don't you join us tonight, mate?" 

"What?" Kannav was thankful that they had just parked at the club where the party was going to be held. He would have definitely crashed the car if he had still been driving. He couldn't believe what Louis had just asked him.

"Come to the party with us. It's gonna be fun, I promise."

Kannav wanted to say 'yes' more than anything, but he couldn't ruin his plan now. "I don't think that would be a good idea. I'm only supposed to be your driver."

"Oh, come on, that's bullshit. You're a cool dude and we're One Direction - we can do whatever we want."

"Lou, you don't have to pressure him. It's okay if you don't want to come, Kannav." Harry said softly.

Kannav stayed silent for a moment, pretending he was thinking about it. This was too good to be true; he secretly pinched himself to check if he was dreaming, but he wasn't. "I, uh, okay. Yeah, I'll come."

"Great!" Louis beamed.

~*~

The night was wild. Kannav couldn't believe he was partying in the same place as his idols and various Indian celebrities. He didn't care about anyone else that was in the party other than One Direction, though. They drank and ate food that was probably worth more than his car, but he abstained from drinking no matter how much he wanted to get drunk with his favourite band because he knew he would have to drive them back once the party was over. 

"Heeeeey, Gandalf!" Niall was clearly drunk as he slung his arm over Kannav's shoulder, grinning brightly. "Take us back to the hotel, will ya? We wanna keep partyin' there! I wanna party with you!"

Kannav didn't need much more convincing than that. Niall was the only one who seemed to be drunk so it wasn't that hard to take the five to his car, which was thankfully big enough to fit them all. His heart was beating like wild in his chest, he was soon going to be alone with One Direction and Niall, despite being drunk, had openly declared his fondness for him. His plan was going better than he could have ever imagined.

Once they were at the hotel, they went to the top where there was a penthouse with an indoors pool, a huge bar and a pool table. 

"I know you shouldn't drink because you drive, but you don't have to drive if you sleep here tonight." Zayn winked as he handed Kannav his first drink for the night. Kannav could feel himself blushing; Zayn was his favourite out of all of One Direction.

"Thanks, man." He said as casually as he could before downing the drink. It was pure vodka, he realised, and it burnt the back of his throat and made him cough.

Zayn laughed and clapped Kannav on the back. "That wasn't too much for ya, was it?"

"No, not at all."

Kannav couldn't even remember how many drinks he had had. He was sitting in the jacuzzi - the indoors pool was fancier than he'd thought - with Zayn and Louis, his brain all fuzzy in bliss from all the alcohol that was in his system. 

"Having fun?" It was Harry who joined them in the jacuzzi, sitting next to Louis and wrapping his arm around him. They didn't bother to hide their relationship now.

"Loads." Louis smiled and kissed Harry's cheek. He had an odd twinkle in his eye as he looked at Kannav. "I think Gandalf is ready."

"Hm?" Kannav blinked upon hearing his name, lifting his head to look at Louis. He was too drunk to think. "Ready for what?"

"It's a surprise." Zayn smirked.

The last thing Kannav remembered before the darkness enveloped him was the five members of One Direction standing above him with wicked smiles on their faces, the sound of their singing of 'Best Song Ever' in reverse echoing in his ears.

**Author's Note:**

> Did ya like it? :)))))


End file.
